How to be there for your friends when you don't feel up to it

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It’s hard to be there for someone when you don’t have the energy. Maybe your own problems or situations are causing you stress and you can’t possibly think about putting another’s energy on your plate.

But, your friends are your friends and sometimes they need you even when you feel down. So what can you do?

Let them know how your energy is that day
They may take into consideration that you also aren’t feeling well and there’s a good chance they will wait to converse with you over this topic. Maybe they’ll even offer to talk about your feelings as well. Being open with your thoughts is the single best way to start this conversation. Otherwise, they may not be taking your silence as a good thing.

Offer to have them vent, and you will get back to them when you can
You don’t have to answer right away all the time. Ask them if it would be okay for you to allow them to vent, and then you take a moment to collect your thoughts/opinions and will get back to them when you have something constructive to add. Most of the time, people just want to get something off their chest regardless of whether or not you have something to offer them afterward. Allow them to spit out their feelings, and let them know you will answer when you can. This way, they still feel heard, but know you need time to think.

Ask if they want to meet up the next day to chat
You may not be feeling up to it now, but if you offer another time for the conversation you will have the chance to collect yourself and adjust your energy so you can walk into the situation more open to talking about their feelings. Sometimes right now isn’t the best time.

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